Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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