i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
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