i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
