god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Panties = found
Randomize
