Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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