New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
