Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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