Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
