guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
