Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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