They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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