the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
