the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
