i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
