I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
