Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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