this boner is exhausting
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
