Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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