If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
