I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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