She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My vagina is officially offended.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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