Dual....:-)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
