Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
