you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
