She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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