I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
