I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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