I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
