and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
