guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
