i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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