Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
