I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
