my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
