Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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