i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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