My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
