He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
