She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
