So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just want nice things and good sex
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
