We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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