He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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