she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
