you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
