i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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