I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
