so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
