I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
