So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
