A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
