I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
