Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
