If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
